FlickyTailSunrise

I woke up yesterday morning absolutely determined that I would be leaving, I packed up my room, spoke confidently of my confidence that yesterday was a good day to go home, to the Dr and remade a bed that would not be slept in just to try out hospital corners again…

The surety of that mission, shrouded the trickling hints of the mudslide of uncertainty, fear and panic that was to follow at the actual point of departure and was to return later again in bed just before sleep. Despairing whispers with the weight of leaden blocks were chucked into a voice note that should really never have been sent – too full of dark revelation and fear to have been appropriate for the one receiving it… my endless gratitude for hearing only that which needed to be heard.

But the strength of KevKev’s hug; the depthless, black earnest gaze of my Dixie; the comfort of a book that talks of souls returning to earth as water, the prospect of a walk; the kind chattering of friends: have all reminded me that despite the wave that overwhelmed me these last few days, I have come out the otherside, understanding better the need to breathe into the uncertainty, take the space to find my grace and relish the sanctuary of Home.

With love on the Eve of a New Year. X