After three months I returned to Treatment today. With the removal of the harshest of the three drugs, I am now left with two: drug 1 administered over 90minutes and drug 2 over two days via a ‘pump’ that is attached to my pic line. Anxious, I arrived at the Unit at 10.45am… Treatment didn’t…

September and the world around me has refocussed on beginnings. For the first time in 18years I’m feeling the end of Summer more sharply than ever before. It has been an excellent Summer.  This chemo free existence was not anxiety free. The biggest stimulus for the anxiety was wondering if I’d made the right decision…

With just a month left of this chemo free idyl, I want to record a few thoughts. I made the choice to take the three months break mostly because the thought of going straight back to Treatment after only a few weeks off felt too much, I was not psychologically ready. There were two big…

After an anxious and hot wait, eased by stories from our recent escape and a second round of box breathing, we were called into DrPs office an hour after our alloted time. We had remembered to check in. Greeting us a large computer screen showing three scans: the initial scan from December; the second from…

I had my update call from the Nurse Specialist yesterday. I told her all about the neuropathy in my hands and feet. Due to the severity of the side effects Round 12 will not be done on Monday and for now I am finished this epic, monumental six month cycle. The next step is the…

Round 11 has not been the step forward I was hoping for. Being so close to the twelfth I was hoping it would pass with the same relative comfort of ten. There is of course no logic or reason why this should be so, other than it is near an ending of sorts, where experience…

We have been off adventuring these last couple of weeks. One spontaneous two night stay in Holt and Cley-next-the-sea and one long planned rail journey up to Inverness and Kyle of Lochalsh. Both were a wonderful escape and both felt important. Important because we are making memories to hold on to; making the most of…

Perhaps the biggest side effect has been the relentless wave of anxiety. It washes over and through me constantly, with triggers so numerous, the wave so all consuming there is little to do but wait and know this too shall pass. After a few days of the constant roll of the anxiety wave I have…

So it seems despite a week off Chemo, I’m still not quite ready for the next Round. Today spent in the Acute Oncology Assessment Unit had delayed it all again… The elusive final three Rounds continue to be just out of reach. Staying in overnight on a 12 hour phosphate drip…