Round 11 has not been the step forward I was hoping for. Being so close to the twelfth I was hoping it would pass with the same relative comfort of ten. There is of course no logic or reason why this should be so, other than it is near an ending of sorts, where experience…

We have been off adventuring these last couple of weeks. One spontaneous two night stay in Holt and Cley-next-the-sea and one long planned rail journey up to Inverness and Kyle of Lochalsh. Both were a wonderful escape and both felt important. Important because we are making memories to hold on to; making the most of…

Perhaps the biggest side effect has been the relentless wave of anxiety. It washes over and through me constantly, with triggers so numerous, the wave so all consuming there is little to do but wait and know this too shall pass. After a few days of the constant roll of the anxiety wave I have…

So it seems despite a week off Chemo, I’m still not quite ready for the next Round. Today spent in the Acute Oncology Assessment Unit had delayed it all again… The elusive final three Rounds continue to be just out of reach. Staying in overnight on a 12 hour phosphate drip…

Waking up at home was wonderful. The 5.30am morning call had birds so full of chirrrups it made the air buzz and me smile. DeeDee, all stretchy in her happy reachouts, sat on me with her healing purr, not hurried for her breakfast. It was good. Small but good. The last four days were a…

Monday evening and still in West Suffolk AAU. I did get rather excited earlier when the morning round AAU Dr told me an evening discharge was in the offing. My throat had eased, the sun was shining and I was sure to be on the home road… Then, the marvellous DrP appeared. Apparently my throat…

So currently am in AAU for an overnighter hopefully. Arrived yesterday at 7.30am and was advised to stay in by 4.30pm… Last week I was advised to have a COVID booster, something I was a bit wary of, (bar the fact that it stole two good days from me) once in the Round, and once…

Round: 8 Rounds to go: 4 (8weeks) This Round has changed expectations again, but equally reminded me how very far I have come. A little over two months ago I was in one of the darkest places I have ever been in my life. Round 6 one of the most relieved. …But the beginning of…

The first 6 days of Round 7 hit a bit like a truck arriving from Round 2 or 4. It felt familiar but it was unwelcome. Fatigue, nausea and general malaise settled in, leaving me bed bound for two of the six days. After the good news of the scan I suspect I had anticipated…

In the run up to scan results day yesterday, it was all deep breaths and distractions. Time again became kairos, all about qualitative time. Taking each moment and enjoying every part of it. Anxiety lurked underneath, but was kept in check with deep breaths and wonderfully distracting friends. Despite forgetting to check in and waiting…