For a while I had a rather strange idea that things would simplify as time went on in this journey. That I would come to terms with aspects and be able to better tackle the next step. At the moment things feel as muddled as my attempts to learn how to crochet. One thing has…

So Round 6 is to be delayed… My bloods have come back showing elevated enzymes in my liver. Given that the chemo targets the liver as well as the other areas, DrP feels it is best to delay Treatment for this week. Round 6 is the halfway point. The big reveal with a full internal…

This has been a good Round. Thanks mainly I think to my decision to walk through the side effects and take an amble everyday. It didn’t dispel them entirely, but my mindset felt better, The Pit wasn’t so dark and deep which was absolutely the objective. I have relished this gift of time, the promise…

As Round 5 begins today, a time to focus on the positives: The sun has reappeared and meant 4 morning walks, 5 if today is included, where I nipped out for a quickie before leaving today. I am nearly halfway through… We managed a mini adventure to Norfolk, where KevKev and I ran down from…

So, a celebrity died this morning of bowel cancer, around a year from his diagnosis, and suddenly my mortality feels very real today. I wonder at the wisdom of not thinking of the darkest point in this journey. It is there and the darkness does not obscure it. Maybe the journey now is coming to…

There is very little to recommend The Pit, other than if you’ve ever wanted to feel so far removed from the rest of the world and a feeling that your sense of place will be understandable, then this is it. The physical discomfort, manifesting today in a lack of tears for yawning or crying and constant…

I have my wig now and I like it. I also have no hair at all underneath it, which is unnerving when I catch myself in the mirror in the morning. My scalp is softer and smaller than expected. I’m glad I have something to hide under that is so much more me than I…

I never expected HOPE to take the form of a protein marker, but here we are… DrP has just called and the news is good. At the start of my journey, my disease protein markers were 906; these have now dropped to 431. Less is good. It is hoped that after Round 6, (yes, that…

There is a loneliness to this existence in illness. Waking up, assessing just how sick I feel: What kind of sick? Is this something that’ll erase my day? What does my perspective feel like? Is it positive? Is it affectable? Solitary questions that only I can answer, but more often than not in these four…

@127 pills every two weeks. @30 hospital visits & stays since diagnosis. @21 tummy injections ROUND 3 bag 2 delivery over 90minutes as opposed to 30. (…much less traumatic) 3 chemo bags per treatment including home delivery pump. Bag 1: fizzy fingers, lock jaw and throat pincer. Bag 2: eye blur, sick, mouth numb and…