FlickyTailSunrise

Waking up at home was wonderful. The 5.30am morning call had birds so full of chirrrups it made the air buzz and me smile. DeeDee, all stretchy in her happy reachouts, sat on me with her healing purr, not hurried for her breakfast. It was good. Small but good.

The last four days were a flashback and forward. Flashback to when a new side effect becomes part of the new daily reality. Then that new reality shapes what the future feels like. It feels very much like these last few Rounds will take all I have left to get through them.

And so to those final three Rounds, it is even more important that I feel able to pull through them with strength and life in my body left for the time planned afterwards. That I am so very weak and depleted now is a cold reality check that perhaps I cannot have both quality and quantity. That getting well is within the murky context of a weaker, side effect ridden body. But… even in that, there is life.

I just want to feel strong enough to do things and hold firm to the feeling and sound life gives.  With the huge gift of those I love and cherish walking right beside me on this terrifying but hopeful journey… with love 🧡