FlickyTailSunrise

For a while I had a rather strange idea that things would simplify as time went on in this journey. That I would come to terms with aspects and be able to better tackle the next step. At the moment things feel as muddled as my attempts to learn how to crochet.

One thing has clarified though and it is the absolute need in me to have HOPE. Without it, I cannot face the Treatment…

Round 6 is going ahead. The grand irony of: having had a wonderful week off Treatment, laughing, feeling physically strong and seeing glimpses of myself again, getting away, seeing friends, walking in Hatfield Forest in the sunshine and holding family close – to then wanting to go back to Treatment, and all that entails, is a complex mess of a need. But there it is.

This Round is so important, it has a CT Scan and a long chat with DrP about what can be seen. Reality cannot be escaped. All I can do is keep hoping that it brings with it some HOPE.

I lost hope at the beginning of last week, just before being told I was to have a break. The world had felt silent and I felt alone – let me know you are out there…

So the break from Treatment came at just the right time and now its time to get back to it. Deep breath…

With love 🧡