So the return to Treatment has been in part disappointing and in other respects, so much more than that. I had (we had) imagined that maintenance might have been different: fewer side effects and just something to slot in to the day to day…
Then I came back to Earth… Day 4-6 were as awful as before, full of fatigue, nausea, random inexplicable pain and depression. Then… the light returned along with this beautiful, unseasonal sunshine and warmth.
I have been mindfully proactive, less Patient, more purpose. More me.
This Treatment cannot just be gotten through, I’m in it now for the longhaul. The dark days will need grace, candles, Indonesian Duolingo, GCSE Maths retake, Rattlesden Primary volunteering, Bake Off, movie afternoons and breathing… but with Hope I might just find a way to make me more part of it rather than it being all there is…
With love 🧡
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