Constrincts my stomach like the tumor I know is inside. It digs deeper pulling my insides with it leaving behind a hole that echoes with the 3am darkness. Into the void sneaks anxiety fluttering around the edges, brushing the sides creating waves of nausea and slippery sanity.
The squirt of morphine is yet to take effect, easing its way down into the void to meet the constriction I want is to find the blissful safety of dreamless sleep. Sleep is the escape, the peaceful oblivion where fear cannot follow. I know what is going on inside, It is not pretending, It is not hiding trying to escape. This is not over, not just yet, but it has begun, there exists an horizon.
I cannot contemplate leaving him, and the beauty that still exists evidenced through a camera lens. DeeDee will be with me to the end and after, but not this love, this life.
I feel the settling now of the morphine, soft blurring of the sharp pangs within, a distant warm light beckoning me to sleep and release…
FlickyTailSunrise 
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